I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
