Who wears a wallet chain?!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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