just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He shit in the fireplace
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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