Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
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i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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