this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
