girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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