I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
