Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
