this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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