i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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