fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
