we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
