Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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