Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
