We won't sleep together?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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