I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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