you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
