dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
