I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Boobs speak an international language.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
