may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
