Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
