You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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