It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
