i can't believe i had my finger in that
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
