oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
