very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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