..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
