just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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