Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
