Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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