Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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