How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
