sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
