Your tits are I can't wait for
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
