sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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