a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
