there's paper in my vomit.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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