I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
