next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Operation Purity has been aborted
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
