I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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