wanna go halves on a baby?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
