I'm lost and stupid without you.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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