my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
