I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
