don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My ass is underappreciated
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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