you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
