im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
