The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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