she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
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I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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