"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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