i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
North Korea, Best Korea!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
