Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
