No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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