i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
