Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
