apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i've created a new STD.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
