I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
