update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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