the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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