Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You did what with his pubic hair?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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