im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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