Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
