How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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