I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This is not my ceiling
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
