how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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