My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
